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Health & Fitness

It Takes Brownies

You know sometimes it does take brownies.

Yes, no matter what the pretentious pundits, religious experts and forgiveness practitioners say, sometimes, in fact, it does take brownies.

Take last April for example.

It was my marriage day. Me and Jennifer were to be married April 7 in Point Loma, overlooking the beautiful ocean on a sunny Sunday. A gorgeous location was made all the better because of a loving guest list. This guest list included a good friend of mine, we'll call him "Mr. Brown." This pal was going to bring his wife's amazing homemade brownies to our special celebration to help offset the dessert needs.

Long story short: flat tire, no show, no brownies and worse of all, no communication. Mr. Brown did not have the decency to even call to communicate that he wouldn't make the wedding, and why he wouldn't make it. Now anyone would understand that his best intentions went awry with some car emergency (though where I come from, you can actually find a way to make anything work, unless you're dead). But to not even call, up to three weeks after the ceremony, was truly uncalled for. Right?

Yes, I know there are many of you out there who would love to sell out my pal, not because you have a kind heart or forgiving mind, but you yourself still enjoy the sloppy world of disarray and avoidance that gives you yourself license to flake on your life and friends with a lame excuse. To not buy anyone else's excuses would mean you yourself would have to give them up. And like a good brownie dependency, such a strict addiction to excuses is not easily overcome.

So what did I do in this scenario? Like my other buds know, I held my pal accountable. Though many folks do dislike being held accountable to their best (what with all the opportunity to slide into mediocrity), some of my friends are actually grateful.

And I'm so glad that Mr. Brown was grateful ... though he knew it wasn't going to be as easy as an "I'm sorry, woops." No, my pal and I come from a community of men that don't necessarily believe the words "sorry" - spoken ofttimes half-heartedly - would cover the dropped out promise. He promised my wife brownies, and he was going to make sure he came through.

It took months, but he came through. He didn't do it because he was "bad" or "in trouble." He didn't do it because he was expected to or because it was a demand from a demanding (and brownie hungry) couple. He did it because that's what honorable people do in an honorable world.

In the world of half-ass apologies standing for the recovery of half-ass attempts at half-ass promises, there is another type of world. Such a world is populated with people who recall that their word is their bond, that action supercedes apologies, that "giving back" is the honorobable thing to do, that atonement is the reuniting in "at one ment," that "cleaning up a mess" can come as humbly as the question, "What can I do to make it up to you?"

Such a world realizes that sometimes resolution goes beyond easy and empty words. Sometimes it takes actions. Sometimes ... it takes brownies.
 

Jim Ellis is a writer and producer living in Lemon Grove. Phone calls, e-mails and brownies can be directed to him at LegacyProductions.org

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